Decision: I won't let go

My not-so-trustable source of imagination. Also, part of my muse. Aishah. ;)

I have been doing some serious contemplation. Contemplation that always ends up with the original decision. It's just that I like to know that I've thought trhough it thoroughly and without doubt, is the best decision I can make.

I know it's not that big of a decision to put so much thought into, but it's a habit of mine, to think of everything thoroughly and I'll know that I wont be hurt or disappointed by my own decision.

But this contemplative decision, I think it's the other way around. I know the end product of  'this' PARTICULAR decision (none of that anyone knows of, by the way) will not really end up in my needed satisfaction and pleasure. In fact, my own decision might even eat me up and leave me not whole. I knew all this even before I made the decision. But I have no idea why, I just know that this decision is the best thing for me and I'll be happy with living through it.

I've overused the word 'decision', haven't I? (:

Aishah thinks otherwise. She thinks that 'who knows', maybe some miracle can happen and I don't even have to make any decisions because fate picked the decisions itself. Aishah says that it is all clear in front of my eyes and I don't have to waste my time thinking of anything; just go with the flow. 

I wish that I could think like her. But she doesn't walk in my shoes and feel what I'm feeling now. I have to think through all the consequences of this decision.

God, it seems like a very big decision, right? It's like I'm planning on a suicidal death for myself. Well, you know me, I like to exaggerate. 

Aishah also said that she has a strong feeling that I'm going to get a boyfriend this year. 

This clever girl!!! Senang senang make her own prediction. But all her predictions have been correct. And there was this another freaky prediction of hers that is currently taking control of me. 

SPORTS DAY!!! 

It is so intense! I mean, my definition of sports day is just play around and have fun. And of course, be a little competitive with other houses. But NOT OVER COMPETITIVE until everyone get stressed up.

Mr. Bala is already going half crazy about the event's selection. And Hans and me are going crazy with the decoration committee. We are actually going to PETALING STREET tomorrow to get bandanas. 

Mr. Bala owes us big time!

I think that whatever Blue House has achieved would never have been accomplished if it weren't for Mr. Bala, Adib, the other teachers*, ME, Jonathan, Andrea, Shermaine, a bit of Nicholas and Gerald. Oh and some of the others as well like Su Chin, Esther, Anis and other people who I missed out names. Most of it came from them as well. (:

And to the athletes of course, but I was mentioning on the accomplishment 'outside field'. 

I'm feeling sleepy right now. Tomorrow, Andrea wants to follow me to Petaling Street. ANOTHER contemplating decision. (: Nah, joking. 

♥ S

You can take all the time you need to realize. I'll be here waiting. But I can't wait forever.