Happy

I haven't felt truly happy in ages. Not those one moment 'happy feeling'. It lasted me through the day. I am clueless where it came from. 

But I was actually smiling at home. Some thoughts or scene was playing back in my head, and I was smiling and laughing when I was photocopying some Physics paper. Yes, I guess I was too absorbed in my thoughts that I ripped Mrs. Suma's Physics binder. 

I didn't want to find the source of happiness as I didn't want to waste my happiness time. 

I realized that I'm emotionally vulnerable and insecure. And I use the vulnerability and insecurity to turn it into something powerful to me: music. I'm guessing by now you must be tired hearing how I go on and on about music. Heck, you might think that I might be even tired of talking about music. So, I'm sparing you these extra words that you have to read, because you might know what I'll say anyway. 

I don't want this day to end. Gosh... Everything was almost perfect. Of course there are some jerky moves from some jerks, but you know the happiness is just too much that it trumps the pissiness. 

You know what, I think I know why I'm happy. And I don't want it to end. And at the bottom of my every heart, I know that inevitably, it wont. 

I know you just had no clue what I was saying. I made the mistake of exposing myself too much by writing my every thought down here a year ago. And I don't usually repeat the same mistakes. And I'm trying to be cryptic. 

This goes to a very special someone. Seriously, your jokes, comments and remarks are getting old and it doesn't get to me anymore. And despite what everyone else says, you're and asshole and you know it, and you're insecure, so you continue being more of an asshole. Because that's the only thing you know how to do, jerk. 

"Look inside, look inside your tiny mind 
and look a bit harder 
cause we’re so uninspired 
so sick and tired 
of all the hatred you harbor

so you say it’s not okay to be gay 
well I think you’re just evil 
you’re just some racist who can’t tie my laces 
you’re point of view is medieval

Fu** you, fu** you very very much, 

Fu** you, fu** you very very much 
cause we hate what you do 
and we hate your whole crew 
so please don’t stay in touch

fu** you, fu** you very very much 
cause your words don’t translate 
and it’s getting quite late 

so please don’t stay in touch"

Cheers, 

Sqeen.

p.s- Hey asshole, I really do wish you sleep peacefully tonight thinking of all the things you've done to me. 

But I wish you good luck for tomorrow, because tonight is the last night you'll be sleeping without having nightmares of me.

You provoke me, you'll get it.

Being an asshole or a dick is not an excuse for getting away with stuff. 

I know that now.