Betrayal

I can feel some sense of betrayal. If not a lot, some. Not from my true friends. Never from my true friends. Because they are ever so true.

But I don't blame some of them. As I have not been a good friend either. But the betrayal, never. If so, the regret will always drown me. So safe me the long journey from your guilt trip. I am complicated, insecure and easy enough to break down. But it doesn't show. 

I don't know how to put this in words. I don't think anyone does. When you're putting me in this situation. We used to be good friends. But somewhere along the way, we grew apart. All the lies and awkwardness between us managed to pull us apart, though our vows committed the otherwise. But what suggests a friendship to last when a million of divorce papers are waiting to be sign. What gives 2 friends that only knew each other for 2 years their eternal guarantee when love can't hold a marriage. 

And that is why sometimes I think to myself, it's better to put your hopes on something that will never disappoint you. Because the nature of us human beings are either to be disappointed or disappointing. Unless you learn to handle disappointment, life on earth will be hard. 

Disappointment is something I have learnt to deal a long time ago. Whether it's friends, family, boys or talent. But who am I to complain. My life is the best so far. There are human beings out there experiencing worse. And I don't have the right to complain. For I have everything anyone would ever want. Loving family, caring friend, health, the subsequent amount of wealth. One of you wouldn't make much difference to my life. So go on with your betrayal. As far as I'm concerned, you are not close to a quarter of the love I get from my other friends. 

So go ahead with your betrayal. Because when love exists, your betrayal looks stupid. 

__________

Okay. And that's the end of my serious, dark, I'm-gonna-cry post. I know some of you miss it. :) These types of post seems to by one of my specialties. But Aishah hates it. 

One said, "I hate it when you become all literary. It's so hard to understand your point. I am never sure what you're talking about. Whether it's about your friends or about the boy or family. I always have no idea"

For one, I like to exaggerate. Making things seems more serious than it is. Second, I have to really be subtle as this is a public blog and I am not really all out about being all honest about my feelings. Third, it is fun for the person I'm talking about to wonder and doubt whether I'm writing about them. I'm all about games. And a bit sense of mystery isn't so bad.

Anyway, on the other note. Here's a music recommendation. 

Album: Rotation

Band: Cute Is What We Aim For

Tracks:

1. Practice Makes Perfect

2. Doctor

3. Navigate Me

4. Loser

5. Do What You Do

6. Hollywood

7. Safe Ride

8. The Lock Down Denial

9. Marriage To Millions

10. Miss Sobriety

11. Time

I've listened to Cute Is What We Aim For since, well, since I can remember. Their music was just 'okay' to me. The only song I actually listen to and thought it was decent is the famous, Curse of Curves. But after I downloaded this album, my god, I can't stop listening to it! It's awesome! The songs are awesome! Maybe to you it's just another alternative-band album, but to me, it's like all my favorite songs combined together. Before I actually heard it.

My favorite tracks: 2, 3, 5, 6, 8

They are just plain awesome! I'm hoping the other albums I'm downloading will be just awesome.

Albums I already downloaded:

1. The Bird & The Bee Sides by Relient K

2. Five Score and Seven Years Ago by Relient K

3. Mmhmm by Relient K

4. Fast Times at Barrington High by The Academy Is...

5. Rotation by Cute Is What We Aim For

Relient K had always been one of my favorite bands. Since Razim and Zehan introduced them to me. First starting with Be My Escape. Then I explored my horizon and downloaded a few more awesome tunes and they officially became one of my most favourite bands. I've always hoped that when I walk into Rock Corner, Relient K will be on the 'Featured Albums' counter. But no. This is one of the reason why I'm not really fond of Malaysia (not saying that I don't. But everything has to have a pro and con). The underground bands that I really like is always not available. Unless they're famous enough like New Found Glory or The Academy Is... or Paramore. 

Thank god for Torrents. 

The Academy Is... is also another of my favorite bands. Their songs are catchy but they are not really my favorites. But the new album is not bad. I LOVE Coppertone. I am not really a fan of the famous, About A Girl.

One of my famous quotes: (not originally by me, of course) whatever happens, happens is being sung in the song Hollywood by Cute Is What We Aim For. Which is just plain awesome. Full stop. 

Albums I'm downloading:

1. Underdog Alma Mater by Forever The Sickest Kids*

2. We Sing, We Dance, We Steal Things by Jason Mraz

3. Want by 3OH!3

4. One By One by Foo Fighters*

5. Echoes, Silent, Patience and Grace by Foo Fighters*

6. We All Need A Reason To Believe by Valencia*

7. Bleed American by Jimmy Eat World

8. Saving Abel by Saving Abel*

*The albums that I'm excited to finish download.

Yes. I'm having a major music upgrade. And to be honest, this is the only reason I wake up in the morning. And the new piano. 

You probably heard the famous tune by Forever The Sickest Kids called She's A Lady on the radio. But I personally think the other songs are better. And that's all you need to know to download it.

Don't ask why I'm downloading Jason Mraz. Me myself have no idea why.

Oh! The song Don't Trust Me by 3OH!3 is just plain awesome! Not too much techno, but still dancable. Love it! I'm not sure about their other songs though. That's why I'm figuring out.

OOOH!!! FOO FIGHTERS! DEFINITELY EXCITED! What do you expect! Their the FOO FIGHTERS! 

I only liked one song from Valencia, The Space Between. But their new album sounds pretty catchy. 

Another album by Jimmy Eat World. God, they have too much albums for me to download. But 'Bleed American' is one of the good ones.

AND I'M SO EXCITED FOR SAVING ABEL. Addicted is already PLAIN AWESOME!! WOOHOO!!

I can't wait for everything to finish download! OOH! Jimmy Eat World had just finish downloading as I type. 

So, I'm gonna go listen to JEW and then watch 2 episodes of One Tree Hill. 

:)

HAPPY DEEPAVALI