.

There is nothing left to say. You saw it, now interpret it.

I hate shoving everything in your face all the time. I have my pride and dignity too.

I won't pretend like I'm okay anymore. Because I'm not. 

I try to tell you, forwardly or not, but you still don't understand. 

So, you're looking at the consequences now.

I won't be like this anymore. 

I'm sick of it. 

I'm sick of waiting for something that won't be happening. 

My friends are sick of watching me getting sick of waiting. 

I put on a pretty smile everyday but that doesn't mean that everything inside my heart is all right.

Get a clue. Why do you have to be so oblivious at times? 

You don't have to do anything. It's not your fault. It's not anyone's fault. 

If it's anyone's fault, it should be mine, for being too emotional. 

But then again, you can't blame me, as I was being unemotional before it. 

I am now officially expecting nothing from you.

My last hope is that maybe, just maybe, you realize what you missed. 

But you will never will.

I just hope that I wont crumble and cry when I next see you.

Because as hard as it is to admit, this feeling is still here and I'm afraid I'm no longer tough enough to face it.

So, yes, be happy. This tough girl has finally beaten down and falling to the ground.

Maybe you should get applaud and a certificate for that.

It should definitely be in one of your "best achievements" list.

I am NEVER this pathetic and pessimist about life.

But you, you just changed me. 

Changed my perception on hope, faith and life. 

I used to be so optimist, but now I guess that every thing proves me wrong anyway, so what the hell right, might as well.

You should be SO DAMMIT PROUD of yourself. 

Best wishes, 

Sakina.

I'm trying my best to not break down again the next time I see you. But it takes a lot of your flaws and all the bad memories for me to do that. So, why not, just gimme more bad memories, won't ya. 

oh and look! A smile on my face! (:

Thank you for listening to my pessimist side of life.