Help Me Understand

It started out as a very fine day. More than fine, honestly. It was so fine that I thought I'd go home with my heart in one piece. It just annoys me how my heart is too easily broken. I'd figured, that it would get used to it. I mean, i get heartbroken a lot of times. More than I can even remember and I supposed that at until one point, I can't feel anything because it's too numb from the previous heart break. 

I guess this is the one thing that you won't be able to get use to even though with 'practice'. The feelings are just the same as ever, only it hurts more than I can remember. I knew it would be coming, I had prepared myself. With the sword of my smile and the armor of my friends, but there he goes, walking straight past me, TO HER!

And there it goes again, it shatters. With a loud smash that it took about a few seconds for my ear to adjust according to the environment. I tried to pick up the pieces but I was telling myself "why bother, it's not like it's gonna be there long until it breaks again." 

This blog is my place for sulking. I can't really express it to my friends, they don't really understand it the way I do. My sister, she understands, but she has no response. 

I can't just suppressed the feelings inside of me.

It's not exactly anybody's fault. I'm not even sure if I have the permission for my heart to break over him. It seems pretty pathetic and useless.

But if he keeps doing this every day, someone has to warn him. And who else will that person be if it's not me.

How it al ended? With my heart breaking, just like that. He left. Without a warning and I was there to pick the pieces up all alone. 

Till then, this mind will be contemplating.

♥ Sakina

The days of paranoia is over, her comes the days of heartbreaking words and actions.