Is anybody out there.

current music: Catch Me When I Fall by Ashlee Simpsons.

Sometimes loneliness is a part of me.

I have never felt more alone in my whole entire life. My siblings are not being understanding, they think I'm still like them, young and problemless. 

I have had some breakdown session in the shower listening to really pathetic songs. I am not trying to beg for sympathy from anyone, I'm done with that. I'm all over that phase. I just want to express myself, I feel better that way.

 I am done climbing the social ladder, I just keep falling and never really make it up high. I am done pleasing and impressing the people that weren't even interested in me in the first place. I am done caring about what people think of me, no matter what I do, they will never always think what they want to think, nothing I can do can change that. I am done trying to keep my friends happy if by doing that, just lying to myself. I am sick of putting a smile on my face so that people will stop asking me what is wrong. I am done hiding my tears when I feel like having an emotional breakdown. I am done fighting with people, trying to protect my rights, because I know they never give up to bring me down.

I seriously am sorry that God created me more emotional and much more sensitive. And I'm sorry I've been such a bitch in school. Suddenly marah2. 

I just want time for myself. I need space for myself. I need my time that I don't have to think about anyone else. I need attention  for myself.